I spent the last weekend in Seattle! My sister and I flew in (very) early Saturday morning and left Monday afternoon. Since I had dropped my son off with my parents the Friday before – it was the longest period of time I have been without my son.
This trip was kind of impulsive. My sister had found super cheap tickets online and without really thinking about it I said yes. To be honest – if I had thought about it too much I probably wouldn’t have went. The funny thing, is I use to be such a spontaneous person! Motherhood has hijacked my brain. How is it that I have experienced skydiving + flown over a dozen times and more since I was 3 years old but only recently I felt fear that my plane could possibly go down in flames? It didn’t of course but I still felt the full force anxiety of what if’s and the guilt that I would leave my child without a mom all because I wanted to get away for the weekend. (unnecessary thoughts? yeah, I know.)
Don’t get me wrong though, despite my anxiety riddled self – I LOVED Seattle! My sister and I ate great food, had lots of laughs, and enjoyed a wonderful Wanderlust festival by a beautiful lake in Issaquah.
We went to Pikes Place Public Market which honestly lives up to all the hype. We also went to the aquarium and even rode a Ferris Wheel which we quickly realized was kind of stupid since we’re both afraid of heights.
It was a good time yet I still found myself missing my little boy every time I saw a family with kids or even when I didn’t see a family with kids. lol. Yes, all the time. My toddler drives me nuts and yet 3 days away from him was definitely 3 days too long.
I was probably being slightly annoying about it but I honestly could not help it. It also got me to thinking a lot about how much I have changed. I’m guessing I still have to find the happy medium between being my carefree self and being a zero risk taking mother. Does it kind of suck that I will probably never do anything ‘risky’ like skydive again? Yeah, maybe a little bit but Motherhood is definitely an adventure all in its own.
On a positive note, I did realize that it’s okay to go and do things that are just for me! It is definitely not selfish and probably does a lot of good in helping me balance everything I have on my plate. I’m still working on the ridiculous thoughts that pop into my head but I’m hoping those are quieted over time. ( …but I also wouldn’t doubt that they grow exponentially when I have another baby. -_-)
Anyway the take away from all this!
If you’re not a parent yet… do all the crazy s#!t now! lol. jk. kind of. 🙂